Sunday, 07 June 2009

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    By Justin Nozuka
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    Seven Years !

    It's funny. I remember when I first had a xanga, around 2002 in middle school. I vented about how lame my life was, how I just wanted to leave, how jealous I was of people that could live in the sun of California and Hawaii. I used to think life in the middle of New Jersey was the worst deal anyone could have. Humid summers, freezing winters, allergy filled springs. Only thing that would really keep me going would be my friends. Other than that, I thought I was the unluckiest 13 year old on the planet.

    Same entry, some guy I didn't even know commented. I just knew him as the guy that commented random "God Bless"es around random xangas, mine being one of them. He said something along the lines of:

    "hey bro maybe you should try to find the good in what you have rather than worrying about the good you don't"

    (    I remember this because he ended up marrying my ex-girlfriend....long story) Looking back on it, I really didn't take it too seriously. Why would one guy saying "it's not as bad as you think" change my "life sucks" perspective?

    Ok it's 4 AM. And I'm still writing because 1) I can't sleep. 2) There's a Family Matters marathon on Nick at Nite. and 3) Seven years later, I just realize how right that guy was.

    My whole life, I've always found a way to look at the glass as half empty. Where I would be at that moment would never be good enough so I would make changes in my life to try to make it better, as if it wasn't already good. I would make changes that, in my eyes, would contribute to building that "perfect life", as if there is such a thing. I would expect these changes to lead to unrealistic changes. At times, I would change things around or move somewhere else just to get away from a bad situation. True Story: I once chilled in Baltimore for a week with a group of my boys just to get away from the stresses of life in New Jersey. Not bad right? Just a vacation. Except a week after I got back, got hit with the stresses once more, I grabbed a different group of friends and chilled in Virginia Beach for another week. Bad.

    I've always used moving, or running, however you wanna call it, as something of a coping mechanism (If I used that right haha). Going into another move though, I have zero expectations and no malice towards anyone or anything that is Las Vegas. I'm not using it as a way to build that "perfect life" or as a reason to get away from home again. I just need to do something with my life. Something productive. I don't see life or any particular situation as something I need to run from. Yeah I'm leaving, but I'm leaving knowing I have something good waiting both in LV and NJ. So to everyone out there that really knows me now, don't worry, the glass is half full.

    all that ^^^ is not important. the rest is ! (Not Really.)
    I'm sure (or I hope) some (or few, or none, whatever) of you have heard of this site BUT I wanted to bring it up incase you never heard of it. As a favor for my girl Rebecca, I hope you pass this link around ! Buy a shirt, check the art, do whatever your heart desires, just as long as it's on fartminusf.com !

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